When I came home with my shiny new Xbox 360 waaaaaay back in 2005, one of my favorite features of the console was the dashboard. The blades were an amazing leap from the clumsy interface of the original Xbox, offering all sorts of expanded control, options, and content that I didn’t even imagine in the previous generation’s hardware.

But nothing lasts forever, and after a few years of noble service, the Xbox 360 dashboard is really starting to show its age and, worse, its limitations. You can find hints of these shortcomings in Microsoft’s recent actions. The back-to-back May announcements of no Spring update and the delisting of selected Xbox Live Arcade titles suggested larger issues. Even the comments made by Microsoft executives on the topic were telling—like when Xbox Live GM Marc Whitten said of the decision not to offer a Spring dashboard update that they were instead:

“building the proper infrastructure and scale for the service.”

Or when Aaron Greenberg commented on the delisting of Xbox Live Arcade games:

“I think that we are not, I would say…happy with the ability to find and discover content as easily as we’d like for consumers to be able to do that.”

So, Microsoft acknowledges the problem. Is there a solution? I think so. Lots of them, actually. We’ve spent some time on our recent podcasts talking about the need for a dashboard 2.0. I decided to take it a step further, look at what exists currently, and suggest some ways to improve things—yes, for Microsoft—but primarily for Xbox 360 users.

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Episode 44: Goin’ Over the Top (42:03)

Featuring neighbors with lumber, GRiD, Metal Gear Solid 4, Tom Clancy’s EndWar, listener mail, and a tearful goodbye to Jeff Bell.

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 Goin' Over the Top [42:03m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Episode 43: The Sticky Icky (40:07)

Featuring The Bourne Conspiracy, Lego Indiana Jones, Battlefield Bad Company, contrasting the Afrika and Saints Row 2 trailers, a forum thread for the ages, and . . . Tales from the G-String.

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 The Sticky Icky [40:07m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Episode 42: Wii Don’t Fit (49:07)

Even though we’re a man down, we “man-up” and discuss Haze, Penny Arcade Adventures, Wii Fit, extending the life of GTA through VHS, a rednexican’s view of the NASCAR 09 demo, and the winner of our Tales from the G-string contest.

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Episode 41: Hermione Granger and the Panini Chamber (40:45)

Featuring rude Mothers’ Day awakenings, just a living, breathing smidgen of GTA IV, Space Invaders Extreme, Grid, Haze, the Bourne Conspiracy, the MS Gamers’ Day, and a selection of perversion from the forums.

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 Hermione Granger and the Panini Chamber [40:45m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Update: We recorded the show a day early this week, and it wouldn’t be fair to select a winner a day before the stated deadline. So, you now have until our next episode—May 30th—to submit your entries (or refine the ones you’ve already submitted).

As mentioned in our latest episode, we’re giving away a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV for your platform of choice. All you have to do is share your best Tales from the G-string story with us. (For those who tune out when Sooch gets graphic, that means an anecdote of debauchery that takes place in a strip club, brothel, or other business of ill-repute.) You can submit them as a written story, an audio recording, a YouTube video—hell—we’ll accept an interpretive dance. Just keep in mind they’ll be judged by the man himself, so be creative and do your best to raise his eyebrows. Submit your entries to feedback@thefanboys.com by Friday, May 16th.

Good luck, perverts!

Episode 40: Niko Belichick (58:40)

Featuring—of course—loads of GTA IV prattle, Echochrome, vertigo, Mario Kart, Endless Ocean, fetish categories even we’ve never heard of, and your chance to win a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV.

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 Niko Belichick [58:40m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Episode 39: Sexshop Quartet (54:00)

Our first XX (chromosome) episode! Featuring another special guest, GT5 Prologue, the GTA IV hype tipping point, Wii Fit, Viking: Battle for Asgard, Sega Superstars Tennis, shopping for “toys,” listener mail, our new forums, and Tales from the G-string.

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 Sexshop Quartet [54:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Episode 38: Room for the Holy Spirit (48:01)

Featuring the joys of PS3 for a non-gamer (our very own “Announcer Guy,” filling in for an absentee Sooch), Unreal Tournament III & its perilous user-created content, Gamerscore crimes and misdemeanors, Crisis Core, Ninja Gaiden DS, Vegas 2, and . . . Tales from the Mormon Youth Dance?

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 Room for the Holy Spirit [48:01m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Episode 37: Stand By Me (1:05:32)

Featuring Smash Brothers Brawl, Condemned 2, Army of Two, the Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles foreplay zombie apocalypse, God of War, Bully, Burnout, and listener mail.

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 Stand By Me [1:05:32m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download